Attn: Three Customer Service

To: executive.office@three.co.uk

My name is Alan Potter, I am a long-time three customer.

When my wife’s phone contract recently expired, I suggested she move to Three.  She ordered a nice new Samsung Galaxy S II, on the Text500 contract.  That was on Monday 18^th July (order number xxxxxxxx).  We arranged delivery would be on the Thursday of that week (21-Jul), and waited for the phone to arrive.

It didn’t.

Nor did it arrive on the Friday. 

I phoned Three’s customer service.  They told me that because there was already a Three account using the bank details I had given to Three (i.e. my Three account), then Three would want to see a bank statement to be sure that my wife was allowed to Direct Debit that account.  All that Three would need to see would be the account name.  That doesn’t really seem to stand up to scrutiny as you already knew the account name, and any credit ratings agency would have been able to give you all the information you needed.  But I can let that slide.

I asked why nobody had phoned us and told us this before the date when the phone was due to be delivered.  I asked when we would have been phoned.  The customer service rep told me that the back office would do the calling, they were busy just now and he did not know when or if we would be contacted.

After listening to him give this kind of excuse for a couple of minutes I gave up and told him that I was not happy about this.  At this point someone with a bit of savvy – or leeway – could still have saved the deal by apologising, offering a complimentary month’s line rental or something similar, and promising to get the phone to us next day.  But no, there was nothing like that.  Just a demand to see my bank statement.

So I cancelled the deal.

I understand that you guys want to give a cheap service and so you have lowest common denominator customer service.  I get that.  But you’ve taken it too far here.  If you promise to deliver a phone on a particular day, you should deliver it.  If you’re going to fail to deliver it, and you know you’re going to fail to deliver it, you must phone the (potential) customer beforehand in case that customer is taking a day off work to receive the package.

Yours faithfully,

Alan Potter

What David Cameron can't - and won't - tell you

The country is seeing a lot of belt tightening just now, and some suggestions of even worse to come.  We are, quite correctly, complaining about it and objecting to many of the reductions in our standards of living that it will bring.

Now part of this, undoubtedly, is because of the measures that had to be taken to deal with the last financial crisis.  But I wonder if there is a more fundamental truth that our government dares not admit to us.

Note: I have essentially no knowledge of economics.  That puts me on a par with the average Daily Mail columnist, but means that I may be talking complete nonsense.  Indeed, I would be delighted if someone would tell me why the things I postulate below are wrong.

Over the past twenty years or so, we in the West have had it so good.  Poorly paid people in China have manufactured things for us, and those of us able to retain a job have been able to buy things amazingly cheaply.  Manufactured things - TVs, DVD players, computers, washing machines etc - have fallen in "real terms" price to an extraordinarily low price.  This is joly nice for us.

Meanwhile, the Chinese (and Indians, Brazilians, Russians etc) have become very good at not only manufacturing, but also computer programming, administrative tasks, and many other things that we do in life and get paid for.  The massive advances in telecommunications have made it possible for us to use these people to do work for us, and they get paid a pittance.  Isn't it wonderful?

Well, no.  It really isn't.  I have been to China, and met some damned fine engineers out there.  Is it reasonable that they get paid less in real terms (i.e. how many hours per week they need to work in order to feed their family) than I do?  Given that both of us produce product that gets shipped out over the public internet, and so there is no transportation cost to worry about, I cannot see why that would make sense.

Somewhere there is going to have to be a huge levelling of living standards between East and West.  And by that I mean that if a Chinese engineer has to work for ten hours per week to feed his family, I too will have to work for ten hours to do the same.

It will mean a rise in living standards in the BRIC (Brazil, Russia, India and China) countries (and others), but it will also mean a fall in our living standards... and I think that that is what we are starting to see now.

Perhaps some kind economist will tell me why an hour of my work is worth three hours of a Chinese engineer's work... but I don't think that that is going to happen.

Letter to ThomsonFly

Dear Thomson Fly,


I understand that times are probably tough right now in the travel industry. Indeed, times are tough all over, but through some diligent saving I have put together enough funds to book a holiday with Thomsons.


And I see that you want to charge for some "extras" - like a family sitting together. This must have seemed a jolly wheeze to someone in head office who has never flown with kids, but I would like you to know that I find this charge utterly offensive.


However, since you appear to believe that a family sitting together is a luxury that should be paid for as an "extra", I have decided that I am not going to pay. There are some things you need to know:


I shall not be responsible for the behaviour of my children on the aircraft
How can I possibly regulate the behaviour of my children on the aircraft if you have ordained that I cannot sit with them? So, if they shout, scream, cry, kick the chair in front or run, screaming and yelling around the plane, that's your fault. If you didn't want that, you should have made damned sure we sat together where I could control them.


You are totally responsible for the safety of my children
You have decided that I don't need to sit beside my kids, so I cannot be responsible for their safety.


So if those little masks drop down, I want you to make utterly sure that they get their mask fitted.


If they need to put their lifejacket on, you need to make sure that happens.


And since we have all heard stories of bad people abusing children, I demand that you watch out for their safety. if someone should touch them, or even look at them in an inappropriate manner, I want to make sure your staff will be as attentive to the issue as I would have been. Failure on your part to do this will result in at very least a prosecution for criminal negligence, or indeed you may be tried as accessories to the crime - after all, it is your policy to split up families.


Once again, I think that this charge is ludicrous and offensive.  I hope that you realise the folly of imposing it and remove it as soon as possible.


Yours sincerely,


etc

2010-09-02 GPL Skip Hire

2010-09-02 GPL Skip Hire
Originally uploaded by atp

So this is day seven of my Photograph Per Day For A Year project, and the first time I've tried copying one to my blog.

The task is quite simple - take and publish a photograph every day for a year. Hopefully, over that time, I will learn to "see" photographs in ways that I wouldn't have seen before.

I wonder how long it will last

Logic rules.

Logic points out that it's just an oil leak. Not the first, admittedly, but it's just an oil leak. Okay, they'll have to take the engine apart and put it back together, but then the damned thing will revert to being a car and not be doing a BP impersonation all over my driveway.

Logic points out that a double-dip recession is likely, and it would be utterly stupid to be even considering replacing it. Thoughts of "tipping points" are only for those who don't understand that dice have no memory.

That's what logic says, and I am a very logical person.

Stage Photography 101

Quite often on forums I see people asking for some hints about stage photography.  I normally try to reply, if time permits, but this time I thought it might make sense to write my thoughts down once and point people to this blog entry.  So here goes.

I'm going to be shooting when they are on stage next week.  What Hints Can You give Me?

1. If Possible, shoot the dress rehearsal.  If at all possible, shoot the dress rehearsal and not a performance.  By shooting the latter, you're just going to annoy the people sitting beside you.
   
   

   Be aware, however, that at dress rehearsal a theatre is a potentially dangerous workplace. There may be actors walking around the auditorium and people panicking about ill-fitting or damaged costumes. There may be lighting or sound equipment all over the floor, there may be steps leading up to the stage or any number of other hazards. Be careful.
   

2. Don't shoot flash.  I used to use flash, and now have loads of very dull-looking photographs of people walking around in front of 80% grey backgrounds.

   This applies doubly so if you are shooting a performance - use of flash is likely to get you lynched!
    

3. Plan to shoot RAW. Lighting will be changing rapidly as you shoot the show. What looks good to the eye can look awful in camera, so shoot RAW and plan to take the time you'll need to post-process your pictures. Something like Adobe Lightroom can be very useful for processing large numbers of RAW files.
   
4. Shoot at High ISO. Don't worry too much about the noise - it's a lot easier to ameliorate the effects of noise in post-processing than it is to reduce the effects of motion blur!
5. Shoot with a wide aperture. Shooting this way allows you to get a high shutter speed, important to freeze the action as dancers dash across the stage in front of you. But use with care... everything in photography is a balancing act... the wider your aperture, the narrower your depth of field
6. Think about the exposure mode you'll be using. A lot of people tell me that I should use M (manual) exposure mode, but I don't quite understand that. By shooting in Av (aperture priority) mode I can keep the lens wide open and get the correct exposure as the light varies rapidly throughout the show. However, I do make use of the exposure correction dial so that I can allow a dark scene on stage to look dark in the photograph, simply be setting to -3 EV exposure correction
7. Don't try too hard to compose in the camera. Clearly you want to get something that's close to what you need, but you're going to be post-processing anyway. You can always recompose the photograph in Photoshop. Just keep the shutter going and don't miss the good stuff!
8. Shoot wider than your final picture. This one is really important. Shoot wider than you want your final picture to be. People - especially dancers - can move fast. It's easier to crop in post processing than it is to create a false hand or foot to replace the one you cut off because you zoomed in too far!
9. Be nice to people. Especially if you want to go back. So if someone's got a horrible expression on their face, or a wardrobe malfunction, bin the picture...

So... does anyone have any further suggestions to add?

Being an extra

So... that's what it's like to be an extra?

I had to get up at stupid o'clock to get myself to The Beehive pub in Edinburgh for 0730.  Luckily the trains were running smoothly and I ended up being first there.

After a short wait, during which time I was joined by around twenty other extras, we were taken for a cup of coffee, after which we walked back to the pub.

We sat around for a while, then a couple of folk came in to choose from us. At first five people were chosen who did not include me, but one of that group was too well-muscled and I was chosen to replace him.

We were to be the ticket sellers. In the plot, the heroine is one of the ticket sellers who sells a ticket to her long-lost love. I was one of her colleagues.  The other extras were variously passers-by and stall holders.  Our ticket seller outfit was red breeches over very long white socks that kept falling down, a white poofy shirt and white jabot under a really, really red coat.

The action centred on a small market that had been set up in the Grassmarket.  Of course, the road and pavement were still open and so our task was repeatedly interrupted by delivery vans and such like.

The first scene had the camera move through the crowd towards an outdoor restaurant table where the hero sat with his mates.  About a second, perhaps?  It took about half an hour to set up, we ran it about five times with a god few minutes between each run and hen were told to relax.

Then for about another half hour, all the vast array of lighting and camera equipment was moved to the other end of the Grassmarket, and we moved on to the next scene.

The lead-up to filming consisted of s sequence of calls and responses - the call coming from the Director and the response, if appropriate, from someone in the crew.  The one I had to listen for was "background action" because that was when I started moving. A fraction of a second later came "action", the cue for the stars to.do their thing.

We were served lunch around 1330, where I opted for the vegetable pasta in preference to the chicken curry.

And after lunch we started again.

When we finally finished around 2045, I reckon that they would have a maximum of 30s of film.

I'll never look at a film the same way again!

It was surprising to see how many people gathered around the filming areas.  We were fairly noticeable, and as the hours crept on on a Friday night in the Grassmarket I wondered if the revellers may cause problems, but everything went smoothly.

So it was a fun and interesting day, and I met loads of really lovely people.  I even was wished "bless you" by the star (Shahid Kapur) when he sneezed - and I understand that hundreds of thousands of Indian girls would kill to be so close to him!  A couple of passing tourist girls were desperate to have their photo taken with me, and watching the onlookers was as much fun as watching the action.

It's not the easiest way to earn £70, but it was fun.  Thank you to everyone who made it such a good day!

(Typed on my phone - apologies for the typos)